


Peace in the dark

by Markster



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Kaidan Alenko x John Shepard, M/M, Sad to happy times kinda, an adaption of a conversation in ME3, during ME3, mShenko, on the normandy, theres a lil bit of crying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-30
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-10-12 21:10:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10499532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Markster/pseuds/Markster
Summary: Kaidan Alenko has just heard word from his Mother, who is now alone on Earth with Kaidan's Father joining the fight against the Reapers. He recalls his Mother endearingly to John Shepard before being overwhelmed by emotion. Shepard stays to offer love and support.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first sort of fanfic thing I have ever written and I didn't want to bother anyone to read over it so if there are mistakes, which I'm sure there will be I am sorry!!!! 
> 
> Hope you enjoy it, just a little adaption of a scene in ME3 :D

Travelling through Outer Council space wasn’t easy. But, it was exceptionally more difficult after saving an Asari research team, only to be alerted to Reaper presence in the system. Everyone was currently at their stations in deep focus, even Shepard stood at the bridge. He almost felt a little stupid, Joker and the crew knew what they were doing when evading Reapers, and this was hardly their first time. But he just wanted to be sure. Besides, who wants to write their own reports anyway? Shepard was content to stand there a little longer undisturbed, just thinking. 

‘‘A message for you, Shepard’’ came from the closest of EDI’s many terminals situated around the Normandy. Of course, when did reality ever let him rest? 

“From who? He inquired, since this was hardly private it couldn’t be Anderson or Hackett. Maybe it’s… “Kaidan, Commander Shepard. He requests your presence when available”. He chuckled, “Well, I always have time for Kaidan.” As Shepard went down to Kaidan’s usual spot he heard EDI remark “Already previously noted, Shepard. Shall I create a report for you, as usual, when you are so pressed for time?” EDI’s tone was not lost on him and he was sure he could hear Joker giggling away. “Yes, thank you EDI. That will be all.” Thank the maker the crew was so focused, or they might have seen their commander flush, just a little.

Kaidan heard the elevator ding, and familiar footsteps approaching. The door slid open and as expected there stood Commander John Shepard. Kaidan saw him in the reflection of the glass, his silhouette was unforgettable. Even in the dark of the room, Shepard could see Kaidan too. The only light came from far away stars. “Need something Kaidan?” That wasn’t supposed to sound so professional, he didn’t want to be like that around Kaidan in their downtime. Shepard would certainly have stood there internally monologuing about his inability to act casual forever, if not for Kaidan’s state. He could just make out that Kaidan was shaking slightly, the dark was usually a sign of a migraine but this seemed worse somehow. The last time they had properly spoken was when Kaidan couldn’t locate his parents back on Earth. They could be dead. Shepard braced himself for bad news. Kaidan stood from his chair, he didn’t turn and was just swaying enough for it to be noticeable. The blue of his hoodie was almost glowing in the soft light. 

“I chose this room when you let me come back. I thought it would be nice. ‘Observation deck’ sounds so relaxing don’t you think? I had hoped that feeling would stick. Look, there is even a little plant. What can’t a little plant fix, you know?”

His voice was not as controlled as Shepard knew it to be, words dropped apart and the room was filled with a malaise. Which Shepard was afraid would soon become distinguishable. 

“When you look out this window. You get drawn in by the spiralling blue hue of the galaxy, can you see Egalic? It’s just so... perfect. The purple reminds me of lavender. It’s not even the right shade but… My Mother used to put it on my pillow, lavender I mean. When my migraines were bad or when I couldn’t sleep, even after a bad nightmare. I don’t know if it helped but it smelled nice. Maybe a little strong but, well my mother…” 

Kaidan trailed off into nothingness and as he tried to speak again his head struck out to the side and then quickly back towards space. But in that second, Shepard saw a glistening streak trailing down Kaidan’s face.  
“She’s alone Shepard. Dad’s joined back up with the resistance and she’s alone. Fine, but alone. She tried so hard when I was little to make me comfortable and now I’m with you again… and with the most brilliant people. But, I can’t help her. I can’t do anything for her. She’s alone and I can’t fix it…”

Shepard was frozen, he tried to move forward, but Kaidan’s voice was scattered and breaking, he was crying and Shepard didn’t know what to do. “Kaidan…” He began, but couldn’t find the right words. So instead, he took the first step forward. 

“We are at war. Not even a war, we are fighting our own extinction. Everything we are will be lost, our love. Beauty. Even bacon, all lost.” Kaidan let out a sigh, a product of feigned humour. “I hate seeing each and every star and wondering, were the Reapers there? Did they kill and assimilate every living thing over there too?” 

Shepard drifted forward, he faced down many horrors, but this was different to him. Kaidan needed him. Sure, the galaxy depended on him, but Kaidan needed him.

“Instead of getting to dream of what could possibly be there, because right now all that could be or was there… is dead.”

Shepard moved closer still and felt his own arms begin to shiver and pulse. He had fought down the Rachni, more than a few Krogan, and an Asari Matriarch. Even a whole damn Reaper. But, this? This was an unwinnable fight. Or maybe, unlosable? Sheppard, for the first time in recent memory, was at a loss. 

“But, when I look at Egalic I see this beauty and I have to believe that it won’t be lost. Even if we lose, it will just exist here, its beauty won’t die because of some genocidal machines.” 

Shepard was an arm’s length away. He could reach out. Hold him. 

“Maybe that’s what your Asari friend saw, Samara? that even if she dies tomorrow or today, she’s dies knowing that at least something will survive. Even if the love she fought for doesn’t make it. Maybe that’s what makes it okay for her. But, I can’t be left behind again. I will fight for everyone, I will, but if it’s the end. If you…If I don’t make it…”

Shepard, expecting nothing from him, just stood there behind him and slowly wrapped his arms around him. Resting his forehead on Kaidan’s neck and just stood there, together. Soon Kaidan leant back into him, each relying on the other for stability. As Kaidan shifted around into him and they stood, pressed against one another they found something worthwhile. Away from the drumming of Reapers. The despair. The genocide. Everything. It was just them, together. In the dark. 

“I love you, Kaidan Alenko.”

The tears couldn’t stop, but now at least, they had a different reason to fall.


End file.
